I know that I am probably quite mellow these days, but I need to be honest about something.
I miss a feeling; a feeling of achievement.
You know, the feeling when you feel very proud of yourself when you successfully earn something.
I feel these days, I am only doing nothing. I live my life ordinarily, and I feel I waste too much time.
When anyone else gives their best efforts, I am only sitting here watching them pursue their way to the top.
Okay, I know that this would sound really worse, but I feel envy.
I see everyone else is doing okay on their own. They are achieving something. They have something to be proud of.
And I am here, feeling unsatisfied with myself.
Perhaps I am really full of myself, but I feel I am not good enough with what I have right now.
I shall do better.
This is what I told myself everyday.
I know that I should be more grateful, but I am only human.
At least this jealousy is going in a great way --because I am envy for something positive.
Yeah.
Perhaps this is just not my time.
And I would have my time to shine another time.
I just have to keep doing better and pray harder.
